So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
