I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
