i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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