Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
