Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize