they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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