How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
