I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I did not marry a roomba.
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