i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
