I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
