Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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