just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
