Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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