Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
