her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
