you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
