I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
