Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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