my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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