There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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