i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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