The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
When are your genitals available?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize