i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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