So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Sorry about my life...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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