you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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