i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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