I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
