She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I think your dad took our porno
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
