Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
