new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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