At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
