Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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