how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
