Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
