My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
