On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
