She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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