I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
