just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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