You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
