so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hippo gnu deer
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
