its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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