okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
