do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
