Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
