so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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