Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
