no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
