a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
