Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
