I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
