Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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