piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
