how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
