I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
