Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
