If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
