...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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