Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Randomize
