please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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