This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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