That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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