You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
A bitchslap is in order.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize