Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
