don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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