why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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