We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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