I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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