Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize