I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
