so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I smell stomach acid.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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