remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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