Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
