Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
