this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
