Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize