I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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