guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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