You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
