I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just high enough for therapy.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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